Broken Glass
by DarkHeartInTheSky
Summary: At the end of his life, Joey confesses the secrets behind his biggest mistake, and broken promises, to the only person who will listen. Post-Canon. Implied rape.
1. Part I

**It has come to my attention that I have become one of "those" authors, who writes about "those" things. I have tried my best to avoid certain subjects simple due to the nature of them, but ultimately I have been drawn to them like moths to a flame. For English class I had to read a book called "The Kite Runner". This book, though dark, sparked the inspiration for this story and I have spent roughly the last two months working on this little guy. It was a one-shot that got out of hand, thus resulting in me splitting it into two parts. I've rambled long enough; time to get to the story.**

**I do not own Yugioh. **

**Part: ½**

**Warnings: Foul language, implied rape, cruel realities, and questionable ethics **

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_Father forgive me for I have sinned. _

Even though I had been friends with Yugi for years, it still annoyed me to no ends just how _nice _he was. To everybody. It didn't matter who they were, or what they had done to him in the past, he never seemed to hold any malice towards anyone. When everything was done with the Pharaoh, after he had finally left for the Afterlife, Marik offered us to stay in Egypt just a little longer. Yugi was an emotional wreck and he thought it would be a way for all of us to find closure. My first instinct was hell no, not after everything he had done to us. I detested the fact that we had to see him, period. I didn't want us to have to spend any more time than necessary around him. After all, he had kidnapped me and Anzu, and then tried to have me kill my best friend. You don't forget something like that.

But Yugi—he accepted right away. And I wanted to shake him for it. I wanted to scream at him, "Don't you remember? He almost killed you!" And that was before he went all physcho on the blimp. Tricking Yugi into that warehouse, that whole deal with luring him into that old circus tent, holding Anzu and me hostage against him, that was Marik. Not the psychopath who nearly murdered half of the finalists. That was him, the real him, and there was no denying it.

Yugi seemed to have forgotten. Maybe it was because he was still in a state of shock because the Pharaoh left. I can't imagine how he must have felt. How empty. Atem had lived inside his head for years, had always been there. When Atem was around, Yugi was never ever alone. And then it all disappeared in one moment. It was all just taken away from him. He must have been so depressed.

But he still forgave Marik. And I wanted to grab him by the shoulders, throttle him, scream right in his face. Marik didn't deserve his forgiveness, his trust, his _friendship. _But I restrained myself when I thought back to my earlier high school years and realized that I didn't deserve it either.

* * *

Yugi was always one of those guys who made you want to be a better person. He made you see your own faults in his virtues. I doubt he noticed because he was never doing anything other than being himself. He was also a huge trouble magnet, always had been. And I know he resented it, but I couldn't help but become protective, especially since Atem wasn't around to do it anymore, and Yuge—he was like a china doll, so fragile and sweet, you always had to be careful how you held him because you were afraid he would break or crack. Yugi never said anything about it, though I could tell he was annoyed by the subtle looks in his eyes he would shoot me when I suggested that I accompany him somewhere, or when I told him to be careful.

I felt it was all justified though. We had almost lost him so many times in the past few years. I swear that day in the warehouse I thought he was gonna die. That ranks in the top three worst days of my life, in case you're wondering.

Another reason though, was that not too long ago, Atem had asked me that I protect Yugi. Atem asked _me, _he put his faith in trust in _me _to take care of Yugi, the most important thing in his life. I had wanted too before, but now that Atem expected me too, wanted me too, I had too.

But the funny thing is…no matter how hard I tried, and I tried hard, believe me, I couldn't protect Yugi when he needed me most. I had always been so good at protecting him over the stupid stuff, like making sure he didn't go out with that bitch girl who would only break his heart in the end, or that he not walk downtown after midnight. Sure, these don't sound that insignificant, but compared to what I could not protect him from, they don't mean a damn thing.

It took me a long time to decide whether or not I should speak of this. I don't want people to think badly of Yugi, because he was the nicest damn person I ever had the pleasure of meeting in my life, and I want people to remember him as the King of Games as I will always remember him, but there are some sick bastards who will surely take this wrong way, and though it's not my intent to make Yugi's last days make him seem like a wimp, there are going to be some who see it that way. I can't make people think what I want them to think. I can't change their opinion about me or Yugi or anyone else once they've made it up.

But it's a good thing I'm not doing this for me. Shit, I don't even know if anyone outside these four walls will hear, but now that I've begun I know I have to at least finish, for Yugi. I mean, you will listen, right? You kind of have too, I think. It's not going to make up for me failing him and it won't make me feel any better about myself. It's not even my story to tell, but it still needs to be told, because Yugi was a martyr, and I want everyone to know about Yugi, so they can strive to be the better person Yugi made me want to be.

I didn't deserve any of the friendship and kindness he gave me. No one who met him did. But he still treated everyone like a dear friend, even shitbags like me who made his life a living hell for years. He saved me and Tristan, even though we deserved to get our asses handed to us by Ushio. Even after I stole a piece of his Millennium Puzzle and taunted him and belittled him, he stood up for us.

That was the day I wanted to be like Yugi. More than anything in my life. I finally had a role model I could look up too. I had an escape from my drunken father. I had a distraction from my nearly blind sister.

Yugi saved me from my life that day.

And I was never able to repay the favor.

* * *

Not long after high school, Yugi and I moved into an apartment in the west side of town. It was dirty and damp and flooding with roaches when we first moved in, but it was cheap, and we were still excited about the prospect of living on our own. Besides, money wasn't really the issue. Kaiba had invested time and money into Yugi by paying for his school so that one day Yugi would help him design games for KaibaCorp.

School had never been my thing, and honestly, I had never had any intentions of continuing on after high school. I was a decent enough duelist that I could win money from tournaments that would usually last a month, but my main source of income came from working at Grandpa's Game Shop.

My life was looking pretty good for once. I was in a safe environment with a steady job and a roommate who did his share of the chores and paid his rent on time. There were no evil megalomaniacs hell bent on killing my friends. Everything seemed to be going good for once.

Until my past came back to haunt me.

* * *

It started out as a couple of phone calls. He would leave short messages that usually involved the words "fag" "traitor" and "ass" in a specific order whilst he threatened to hunt me down and kill me. I'll admit—they were unnerving. I hadn't heard from Hirutani in _years. _Not since Yugi got me out his clutches. How had he even managed to find me?

Still, I ignored it. Hirutani was nothing more than bad memories and faded scars and I had no interest in getting involved with him ever again. I always deleted his messages right away. The longer time went on, the harsher and more violent they got. But the less affected I felt by them. So far, they had been nothing more than messages, just some simple, albeit annoying, harassment. He had never acted on them. It wasn't the Hirutani I knew, but then, I wasn't the same Joey I used to be. People do change.

Well….most of them.

I kept the messages my little secret. I didn't want get a lecture from Yugi on how I needed to call the police and report him. It would've been a giant hassle, and besides, I didn't want to worry Yugi. He had enough on his plate already, with school, and then interning at KaibaCorp. Hell, I barely saw him most days and we _lived _together. If he found out, then there was no doubt he would get involved. Anyway, this was my problem and I wanted to be able to deal with it on my own, the Joey Wheeler Way.

Which meant ignoring it and hoping it would go away on its own.

But, I had no such luck. Joey Wheeler, for the record, is not a lucky man. In fact, he is probably the unluckiest man in the history of unlucky men.

I came home from work one day to see a rather pissed off Yugi sitting on the couch, arms folded over his chest. It was amazing how much he had grown over the years. He looked so much like Atem. Yugi also has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, meaning that, when he's mad, you know you've screwed up big time. Having Yugi stare angrily at you is probably scarier than having your own mother stare angrily at you. I closed the door slowly behind me.

"Hey." I said. "What's up?"

"You tell me." He snapped, then pressed the button on the answering machine. I swore internally. Yugi beat me to it.

"Hey, Wheeler," Hirutani's snarly voice came in, "I'm gonna kill you, ya know? No one betrays me and gets away with it. Ya little asshole blondie, I'm gonna kill ya." Then the dial tone.

Yugi continued to glare at me. "Well?" He snapped.

"….Damn telemarketers."

"How long has this been going on?"

Another thing about Yugi: he doesn't know when to decipher between something that's his problem, and something that's my problem.

"What does it matter?" I said walking towards the fridge. I wanted him to stop staring at me. I felt like every time Yugi stared at me he could read my soul.

"He's threatening you."

"That's all it is, Yuge, threats. He hasn't done anything he's said he was going to do."

"So this _has _been going on for a while then?"

I raised my hands up in resignation. "Yes, it has okay?" I looked at him. I sighed. "Look, I'll call the police tomorrow, alright? Right now it's late and I'm tired."

Yugi relaxed a little. "Okay." He agreed. "I was worried, Joey; I know how awful that man was to you when we were younger."

"That was years ago, Yuge. 'Sides, I can take Hirutani, and you know it!" I flexed my muscles and grinned. Yugi rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"Yes, you're very physically fit, no need to rub it in. But still, this is a job for the police. They deal with cases like this all the time."

I snorted. "I'm surprised he isn't even in jail. You know what kind of stuff he was into back in high school."

"Yeah. I don't think many people can say they were in a gang fight with yo-yos."

"Hey! Those things were lethal weapons and you know it!" Yugi grinned. I mentally slapped myself. Of course he knew it. He knew because I dragged him into my problems and he was used as a hostage against me.

"You'll go to the police?"

"Tomorrow, I swear." I lied. I hated lying to Yugi. But I wasn't going to the police. I had waited around too long. Yugi was right. Action needed to be taken. But it was going to be by me.

But Yugi still smiled, regardless of the fact that I was lying to him.

It would be a long time until I saw that smile again.

….

After Yugi had retired to his room, I picked up the phone and called the number that was last listed on the caller ID. It rang three times before it was picked up.

"It's about time you son of a bitch."

"Listen to me, asshole." I spat. "We finish what we started back in high school tonight."

Hirutani chuckled. "Perfect."

…

I left the apartment as quietly as I could, tightening my jacket. It was a bitter cold night. My teeth began to ache. I walked towards the designated area Hirutani and I decided on. Me and him would fight in out; I would be the victor. He would never bother me again, and I would manage to sneak back home, clean myself up, and crawl back into bed all before Yugi woke or suspected anything. He would never condone what I was doing, but he didn't seem to understand that this wasn't something I could just go to the police about. This wasn't about harassment: this was about honor. More specifically, mine.

I suppose it could be considered ironic that we chose to meet up in the same old warehouse we had last seen each other. I looked up at the roof before entering. I could still see the holes in the tin roof Atem made, chasing Hirutani's thugs around. Memories…

"Joey?"

That voice…I turned around.

"Yugi!" Shit. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question." He spat bitterly. He was pissed. "You said you were going to wait for the police!"

"You followed me?"

"I can't all in good conscience let you go and get yourself killed, can I?"

"Go home, Yugi. This isn't your concern."

"You're my friend, Joey. It is my concern. And I'm not going home, and you can't make me. Either we both go home and call the police in the morning, or we both go inside that warehouse. Your choice."

"Then I choose the warehouse."

"Then I'm going with you."

Yugi was stubborn, and once he made up his mind, there was no changing it. So I gave in. "Fine." I said. "Just stay out of my way." I took a step forward and could hear Yugi scuffling behind me. I pushed the door and walked in, Yugi inches behind me. It was dark, until a bright light was suddenly turned on, blinding me.

"Look who finally decided to show up." I recognized the voice. Hirutani. As my eyes adjusted I noticed two other people behind him—people I didn't remember. He had gotten new thugs.

"It takes time preparing to whip your ass." I retorted. He smirked.

"Boys."

It happened so fast I didn't have time to react. His thugs had me pinned to the ground, and I couldn't shake them. Hirutani laughed. "Is that the best you got, Wheeler? Hey, who's your friend over there?"

Yugi didn't stand a chance either. Hirutani held him in a vice grip. I watched as Hirutani studied him. "Hey, I know you. You're that little shit who stole Wheeler from me. What are you doing here, you little shit?"

Yugi struggled and tried to break out of his grip. It was useless. "Boys," Hirutani said, "deal with Wheeler." I felt myself being lifted up. I tried to fight out of their grip, but they were too big, too strong. I felt myself being placed in a wooden chair in the center of the room, and with a quick snap, I had been handcuffed.

"Hey!" I shouted, trying to break them. My hands had been placed between the bars in the back, and I couldn't slip my hands over or through. I was stuck. "Hirutani you bastard!"

"You know," he said, looking at Yugi, "I was going to kill you, but I think instead I might kill your little friend here." He pulled a gun out of his pants pocket and placed it at Yugi's temple. I watched as his pupils widened and I clenched my teeth. I half expected the Pharaoh to come out and save us like he used to when we were knee deep in shit like this. But the Pharaoh was dead. We were on our own.

"After all, he is the reason you are me had a falling out, isn't he, Wheeler? Tell me, how does a big strong gang banger like you become friends with a scrawny little shit like this?"

"You hurt one hair on his head," I said through my teeth, "and I will rip out your jugular." I meant it. With every fiber of my being.

"One hair, huh? There's an idea!" He put the gun down and instead pulled out a knife from his pocket. "There's an idea." He grabbed Yugi by his hair and used the knife to cut a lock of it off. Yugi continued to uselessly struggle against him. Hirutani continued to shave off Yugi's hair, letting the multicolored locks fall to the dirt floor. But Hirutani didn't seem satisfied.

"Tsk. Surely there are better ways of hurting the both of you, after you both hurt me so?"

Moonlight peered in through the holes.

"What's the best way I can hurt you?" He took Yugi's chin in his fat, meaty hand. Yugi uselessly tried to fight. "I think I have an idea." He put the knife back in his pocket, bent down and grabbed the gun, then threw it to his blonde lackey who stood to my right. I felt the gun being placed at my temple. I clenched my eyes. Is this how you feel right before you die?

"Motou," he said, "you're going to do what I say, or I'm going to make sure that the only way Wheeler leaves here tonight is in a body bag, with a nice piece of lead in his puny little brain."

"Run Yugi!" I had gotten Yugi into this mess…but what could Hirutani possibly want with Yugi? If he wasn't going to kill him….

He let go of Yugi and pushed him down. "Strip." He barked.

No….no…nonononono! He couldn't….I looked at Yugi, terrified. Run, I shouted in my mind, run you idiot, save yourself! But instead I saw the look of fear in his eyes and he turned his head towards me. That one look said everything.

"Don't you do it, Yugi!"

"Strip, Motou, or Wheeler dies!"

"Don't you fucking do it!"

The lackey cocked the gun. I watched as Yugi reached for the button on his jeans.

"_Don't you fucking do it!"_

And then Hirutani laughed a wicked laugh and looked at me as he got down on top of Yugi. "Make sure he watches."

"_Fuck—"_

* * *

I wasn't sure how long I was there. A few hours, at least. Hirutani's lackeys had unlocked the handcuffs after he was done and I just fell to the dirt floor, shell shocked, shivering, paralyzed. Yugi's back was to me, but I could hear his soft sniveling.

This is all my fault, I thought. Over and over and over and over again. This is all my fucking fault. But when the room started to become full of sun instead of moon I knew we needed to go. I crawled towards him, slowly. I could see the bruises on his shoulder where the bastard had held him down. I could smell the blood in the air. I grabbed his clothes on my way over there. All of it was damp. But better than nothing at the moment.

"Yugi?" I gingerly touched his shoulder. He turned to look at me, flushed and snotty. "Come on, man." It took everything I had not to cry again. My throat was raw from it and screaming. "We need to go." I helped him into a sitting position. "Ugh…do I need to call an ambulance, or—"

"No." He said, defeated. "No. No hospitals, no police…let's….let's just go home."

"But Yugi—he—he—" I couldn't say the word, it was to terrible, "you need to get checked out, man, you need—"

"No, no." He said softly, running his hands through his hair. It was terribly botched. It was nothing more than black now and it was sticking all over in parts that were longer than others. "I just want to go home, Joey. Please? I just want to go home?"

This was all my fault. If I had just called the police like I told him I would….If I hadn't snuck out….If I had just gone back home when he gave me the chance….This was all my fault. I had no right telling him what he had to do. Who was I to further his pain, his humiliation? I reluctantly handed him his stained clothes. "Okay. We can go home."

He took them. He looked at me. "How bad did they hurt you?"

Dumbfounded, I said nothing.

* * *

I sat outside the bathroom, listening to the sound of rushing water; could feel the steam on my ankles. He had been in there for two hours. At least. I'm not sure. I wasn't in any hurry to force him out.

_This is all your fault._

Then, the water stopped. After a few more minutes, Yugi stepped out in an old robe. His skin was bright red. He must've had the water as hot as it would go. He slid down next to me, brought his knees to his chest. Silence. He looked so different without his hair. It would be harder to find him in a crowd now. He would be able to blend into the background, just like how he wanted to do back in school.

_Are we going to talk about this? Ever?_

As if he were reading my thoughts, Yugi sighed, and then said, "No one knows."

"What?"

He hugged his knees tighter. "We tell no one. Anzu…Tristan…no one." He shifted uncomfortably. I could see in his eyes he was in pain.

In all the time I had known him, Yugi had never kept anything from anyone. I wanted to reject his idea, tell him it was stupid, that our friends would not judge him differently. But, I hadn't brought him to the hospital either. And it was too late now. All the evidence had run down the drain as Yugi attempted to scald himself just moments earlier.

"Promise me, Joey. Promise you won't tell anyone." He stuck out his pinky towards me.

I reluctantly wrapped mine around his. Because if no one ever found about this night, then no one would have to know how badly I failed him.

** …..Six Months Later…..**

Her name was Becky. She was good for him, I told myself. She could help him in a way I couldn't. She was a classmate of his and somehow the two of them just started hanging out. And then it became more than that. Honestly, I thought if Yugi were to go steady with anyone, it would be Anzu. But she was halfway around the World now and couldn't help him like Becky could.

She was small with dark hair and round glasses. She reminded me of our friend Rebecca from California, but there were minute differences that made her stand out. She didn't squeal like Rebecca, which I thanked God for every day.

Even though time had passed since that terrible night, Yugi didn't let his hair grow back out to what it was before. He kept it short and black, and when asked about it, would simply just respond, "It was time to go." Kaiba had called me the next day and bitched me out, asking why I let him cut it. I kept my promise to Yugi and didn't explain that Yugi didn't cut it. I just told him what Yugi was telling everyone else. It was time to let it go.

I could see the two of them on the couch, their arms locked around each other's necks in a kiss. I did my best to ignore them. I felt awkward being there. I shouldn't have been there, I should have given them the privacy they needed. Even though I was in the kitchen and out of their line of sight, I felt like I was intruding. But I couldn't help it. I had to watch them. I had to make sure.

"Mmm…." She moaned softly. "You're surprisingly good at this." She said coyly.

I could see the scarlet roses race across Yugi's cheeks. "Uh…."

"Come on, sweetie. You don't have to be embarrassed." She reached for the buttons on his shirt. He gently took her hands.

"Joey's still here—"

"Oh, you are a virgin, aren't you?"

"Please. I don't—"

Her smile dropped. "Okay."

"I'm sorry."

"No, no, don't be. It's alright, I understand." She stood up.

"I'll see you in class tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah." She leaned in and kissed him. When she left I saw Yugi lay on his side on the sofa, bringing his knees to his chest.

One day Becky cornered me in the Game Shop during the off hours. "Does Yugi not want me?" She said.

"Of course he does, why would you ask that?"

"Because, every time I try to—"

I put my hands up to my ears. "La la la la la la….." Yugi's sex life (or lack thereof) was of no interest to me.

"He pushes me away."

I took my hands away. She looked sad.

"Does he not love me?"

"He adores you."

"Then why—"

"He's just shy." I said, praying to God for the conversation to end. I really, really, really did not want to talk about Yugi's nonexistent sex life.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

She didn't seem convinced. Or she didn't like my answer. Either way, she thanked me for talking to her and then left the shop.

When I got back home that night I saw Yugi sitting on the floor outside his bedroom door. It was late. He didn't even look up when I walked past. "She dumped me." He said.

"I'm sorry." What else could I say? Was it my fault? It couldn't be coincidence that the day I talk to her is the day she breaks up with him. But what could I have possibly said that would make her break up with Yugi?

"She says she can't be with someone who doesn't tell her the truth."

Yugi's abilities to seemingly read minds had increased in the time since….He wasn't acting like someone who was just dumped too. He sounded sad. His eyes looked empty. But he wasn't crying.

Then I remembered that Yugi doesn't cry anymore.

….

It was before the incident with Hirutani, before Atem left, but after Battle City. I had wanted to duel with Atem to get back my Red Eyes fair and square. It was my dream to be as good and strong a duelist as he was. I would never get anywhere close to the level he was at.

So when my life points hit zero, as the sun began to peak over the horizon, it was a surprise to no one.

"You fought well, Joey." He told me, smiling as he approached me. He had a card in his hand, and outstretched it. "Here, take it."

It was my Red Eyes, I knew. I shook my head, dumbfounded. "I can't." I said. "I can't take it back until I beat you. It's my fault I lost Red Eyes in the first place. I was irresponsible. I'm not ready."

"But you are, Joey. You are ready and you are worthy. Red Eyes wants you back; you should hear how he mourns for you, wailing. Aibou hears it too, and we both want nothing more than to reunite you two."

"But I didn't win."

"That is irrelevant. Take it, Joey. You and Red Eyes are meant to be."

He was serious. I could tell. He wanted me to have Red Eyes. Atem was stubborn and wouldn't stop until I conceded defeat and accepted it. So I took it, unable to stop the smile that came to my face when I felt the card touch my skin. I could feel Red Eyes' energy flowing through me.

"Hey buddy. I missed you."

Atem smiled softly, then turned his head. "It's a beautiful sunrise, is it not?"

"I guess so."

"Symbolizing a new day, time to make new friends, reconcile with old. A lot is about to change, Joey."

"Yeah." He now had all three Egyptian god cards. He had the information to his past. I could not imagine how he must have felt, to be a stranger to himself all this time and then to suddenly have the key to all his questions given to him.

"Joey," he said, somber and turned to me. He looked sad, like he was on the verge of tears. "There is another reason I asked you here today. Can you make me a promise?"

"Sure." I said. "Anything, you ask, I'll do it."

"I will not be here forever….Aibou knows it too and it makes him sad. I cannot bear to know he's in pain, but whenever the subject comes up, he refuses to discuss it and changes it. You and he are very close…"

This was before the ordeal with Dartz. I had never seen Atem cry before, but that moment was probably the closet I had come too.

"When I am gone, will you promise me that you will look after him for me?"

"Do you even need to ask? Yugi's my brother; I'll protect him with my life."

Atem smiled softly. It was amazing to me how the mannerisms of Atem and Yugi seemed to merge together. Sometimes it was hard to tell them apart, especially in quiet moments like that.

"Can he hear us?"

Atem shook his head, grabbing onto the Puzzle. "No. I have blocked Aibou for the moment, so he cannot hear what we are saying."

And I said, "I'll take care of him, Pharaoh, I promise." And he smiled at me. And that was the end of that.

Sometimes I wonder what Atem must think of me now, after I fell back on the promise I made to him.

** …Four Months Later….**

_Joey,_

_I know it's been a while since we talked, and I'm sorry. I know I just disappeared for a while. After the experience with Dartz and with Valon, I needed some time to myself, to travel the world and find out who I really am. I think I've done that now, but I can't be sure. Not until I see you again. I'll be in Domino for a few days. If you want to meet up, give me a call._

_Mai_

At the bottom corner she had scribbled her number. I stared at the letter for a long time, unsure of what to think. The letter had no return address, like it had just been dropped into the mailbox. I hadn't heard from Mai in nearly four years. I had never stopped thinking of her, but I figured I would never see or hear from her again. The letter….

"Are you going to go?" Yugi asked. I looked at him. He had grown up so much. His hair was still short and black. He had lost some weight, but his eyes looked older, more aware. He was looking more and more like Atem each day.

"I don't know." I said honestly. "How do I even know if this is real? That she really wrote this? For all I know, it could've been written by anyone."

"It looks like her handwriting."

"Yuge, it's been years. I can't use that to judge the authenticity."

"Joey, it sounds like she's apologizing. I think she wants a date."

A date? In my teenage years I had dreamed over and over again of having a dinner date with the voluptuous Mai Valentine. But then she had disappeared, and I let go of my childish fantasies. I was twenty now. A man. Besides, I hadn't been on a date in a long time. Other priorities had taken place. Grandpa was getting old now and couldn't keep up with the shop as much, and I had to make up the difference.

When I wasn't at work, I gave all my extra attention to Yugi. I knew he was depressed. I knew we should talk about what happened nearly a year ago with Hirutani. But we didn't. I knew it ate away at him inside some nights when insomnia struck. I knew some days were better than others. Some days he wouldn't eat at all, and would just stay in bed with the curtains drawn and the covers wrapped over his head. Some days I was afraid that I would come home and find him in a pool of his own blood, or on the floor, eyes open but lifeless, with an empty bottle in his hands.

Yugi would never kill himself, I tried to tell myself. But I could never fully convince myself.

"You should call her."

I was silent.

"Let me rephrase that. If you don't call her, I will."

I looked at him in shock.

"Joey, it's been four years. She wants to talk. She reached out to _you._ She deserves another chance. She at least deserves a chance to explain herself."

If Yugi could forgive me for all of my sins, then I could forgive Mai for hers. I reached for the phone.

We met up in a fine dining restaurant on the outskirts of town. I felt hot in my tuxedo, but the restaurant had a strict dress code and Mai had been the one to choose the place. Mai came in about five minutes after I did, and if I didn't feel sweaty before, I was drenched when I saw her. She was wearing a skin tight red dress that emphasized her curves, and black stiletto heels that gave her an extra four inches.

"Joey!" She said and I stood to give her an awkward hug. At least it was awkward for me—she threw her arms around my neck, nearly choking me. 'It's so good to see you again!"

"Good to see you too." She let go. The awkwardness fell like a blanket. I coughed. "Uh, sit down, please." I said. She did.

I got back into my chair. The waiter came and took our initial order and when we left we were back in the silence. She took a sip of her water.

"I'm glad you came." She said.

"Me too."

"After our last encounter, I was worried you wouldn't want anything to do with me ever again."

"Why?"

"Well, I was so mean to you—all of you, and I nearly killed you."

"You were in a bad place. We've all be there." I said. "Dartz saw that and took advantage of your vulnerability. But you fought back when you realized it was wrong."

"So, no grudges about me nearly feeding your immortal soul to an ancient, demonic serpent?"

"Water under the bridge."

She laughed. "Joseph Wheeler, you really are something else."

If Yugi can forgive me for everything wrong I've done, I can forgive you for your mistakes. "How did you find me?"

"After Dartz I needed to find myself. I spent the next few years traveling the world, meeting all kinds of people. I was in New York City and I ran into Anzu. She wanted to contact all of you saying that you guys had been worried about me. I thought she was just deluded, but she seemed so sure. Still, I didn't know if I wanted to get back into contact with you guys. But I stayed in touch with her, begging her not to tell anyone about me. After sometime, when I felt like I could face you guys I asked and she gave me your address. And, now we're here."

The waiter came with our food. "What have you been up too?" She said. "Anzu says you live with Yugi."

"Yeah. It seemed like the most logical decision. I work at his grandfather's shop most days. I still duel, though. What about you? I'm not that into the Duel Monsters grapevine."

"I do a tournament every now and then. It pays the bills."

I found it surprising how easily we slipped into conversation. It was like she never left in the first place; like she had been there with us all along. I found myself laughing with her, able to talk about mundane things and joke about how pompous Kaiba was even after all these years.

"So, how's Yugi doing?" She asked. "Anzu told me about the Pharaoh, I can only imagine how he must feel."

I wasn't sure how to answer her question. I didn't know how Yugi was doing. He doesn't talk to me much anymore. I mean, he talks to me, but he doesn't _talk _to me. So I did something I was pretty good at: lying.

"He's doing as well as he could, considering the circumstances."

"Well, that's good, I suppose. I hope I can see him sometime. He still owes me a duel if I remember correctly."

I didn't mention the fact that Yugi hadn't touched a duel disk since Atem died. "How long are you in town?" Get the topic off of Yugi. Please, talk about anything else, just don't talk about Yugi.

"Well, that depends on several factors. Namely you."

"Me?"

"If you want me to stay for a while, then I'll stay."

She was everything I wanted in a woman. Smart, proud, sexy. She was a good duelist and always gave me a good challenge every time we played.

She was ten years older than me. People would stare, make accusations. If the Dueling tabloids got word of it, our reputations could be ruined. She was the kind of woman my mother always warned me to stay away from. Sure, she it was okay for her to be friends with Serenity, but my potential love interest? I'd be disowned. But, I didn't care about any of that. She was Mai Valentine. I was Joey Wheeler. And I loved her.

"I want you to stay."

And she smiled.

* * *

We spent another few hours in that restaurant, laughing and talking about nothing until they kicked us out. When the waiter came with our check I was reaching for my wallet, but she slapped out a debit card faster than I could blink.

"My treat, honey. I asked you here, it's the least I could do." Mai is very proud and to be honest part of me is scared of her, but when she makes a decision nothing will deter her from it, so I didn't argue.

And we ran around the city. It had begun to rain. Hard. But we didn't care because we were like kids, too engrossed in our own fantasies to take notice of the real world. Our hair was soaked and stuck to our face. Mine was a moppy mess but hers framed her face perfectly, bringing out the oval.

And her already skin tight dress seemed to have only become tighter, and part of me was embarrassed for a moment, but it was soon forgotten for other feelings. Like when we were outside my apartment door, chilled to the bone in rain water. But I took her face in my hands, and she did the same and we kissed and it was romantic and wet, but warm and it was perfect, just like I had always imagined.

For one night, I had been able to forget everything and focus only on her.

"You wanna come in for some coffee?" I asked in between kisses.

"Coffee," she said, "or _coffee?_" She was so coy, I friggin loved her.

"Why not both?"

So we entered the apartment, prepared to do what we had both wanted to do since we first met back on the boat to duelist kingdom nearly five years ago. God, saying it aloud—it makes me feel old. It sounds so long ago, but when you think about it, it seemed like it could have been just yesterday. Anyway, I digress. We entered the apartment, but found Yugi on the couch, watching some infomercial. He turned his head when we came in.

"Hey." He said, smiling shyly.

"Oh, Yugi!" Mai squealed rushing over to him. She pulled him into a hug before either of us could blink. "I've missed you so much!"

"I-I've missed you too, M-Mai." He was so embarrassed. It was adorable. Mai released him from her grip, but kept one hand on his shoulder, running the other though his hair.

"What did you do?"

Yugi pushed it away gently. "I just…thought I would try something different."

"It looks nice. Grown up."

Yugi's eyes went from her to me. We must have been a sight, barging into the apartment at two in the morning, soaked to the bone. His eyes kept to a certain spot on my face. I brought my hand up to the area and rubbed it. When I looked at my fingers I saw lipstick. Now my face had turned red in embarrassment.

"Am I…interrupting something?" He said, taking a step back.

"Not at all, hon." Mai said. "Why don't you and I catch up? It's been so long. You don't mind, do you Joey?"

"No." I didn't mind, not really. I never saw Yugi as any sort of threat, especially to my love life. Mai and Yugi were friends; they deserved to have the chance to catch up.

**…Two Years Later…..**

It was a normal day. As normal as one could have ever been. I was in the shop tending the register while Grandpa enjoyed a nice day off. I had sort of become the unspoken manager of the Turtle Game Shop. Grandpa was still alive, but he couldn't keep up with it all anymore. His back was too sore to lift the merchandise or sit behind the counter for too long. He still handled most of the paper work, though. But I was the face of the store now.

It was a slow day. He came in. I recognized him instantly; there was no way I could not. You don't forget a person like that, a person who handcuffs you to a chair. He was one of Hirutani's old lackeys. He brought back old memories that were bile in the back of my throat. I hadn't thought of him in a long time. But I recognized him. And I hated him.

"Get out." I growled.

"Listen man, I have something I need to tell you."

"Get out before I call the cops!"

"Hirutani's dead." He deadpanned. I was taken aback for a bit of a moment. Part of me was actually mad. The bastard was dead and it was not by my own hands. Part of me felt like I had failed Yugi again. But then I realized, dead is dead. So I collected myself.

"Good riddance." I snorted. "Thanks for the good news. Now get out."

He was quiet and didn't move. "Man, Hirutani was into some pretty weird stuff—"

"No shit."

"Drugs, prostitutes." He looked at me like he expected me to know the answer to the puzzle.

"He _raped _my best friend." I hissed; it was the first time, I realized, that I had used the word "rape" to describe what exactly Hirutani had done to Yugi. It was a terrible word, but still, it didn't seem to suffice. What Hirutani did to Yugi was worse; but rape was the closest word there was. "I don't give a damn what shit he was into; he's dead and that's all I care about."

"He died of AIDs."

I found myself silent once again. AIDs? He….Yugi….That meant? "He contracted it…_after _Yugi….right?" I found myself pleading.

Hirutani's ex lackey shook his head. "AIDs doesn't kill you that fast. So your friend…if…if he hasn't been…you know "checked out" yet….he really should."

"Y-yeah."

And he left. I never learned his name, never saw him again. I don't know why he told me what he did to this day, but I can only imagine that maybe he was searching for forgiveness too.

I had no idea how I was going to tell Yugi. The whole rape-….God it feels so weird using that word-…..the rape had been more or less pushed under the rug. We didn't talk about it. Ever. At all. But now we would have to do. And I hated it. I was engaged, soon to be married. I was moving up in my job. Soon enough I would have a family of my own. I was doing everything I could to get away from my past, to move onto a better future. But Fate…Fate had other ideas.

Mai, thank whatever God in heaven there be, was out of town that week on a tournament. So it was just me and Yugi. He sat there on the couch looking at me with those puppy dog eyes, his hair halfway in his face….goddamn that freaking hair. Why wouldn't he just let it grow out? Why keep around the reminder? I sighed.

"Yugi, we need to talk."

He tried to get out of it early when I brought up the lackey. He tried to go to the other room, covering his ears, but I made him listen. He had to listen. And when I was finished, he sat there still, looking more dead than alive.

"We need to go to a doctor." I said.

He shook his head, adamant. "No." He said. "We agreed, no doctors."

"I know Yuge—but, the circumstances are different now. Come on, it's just one blood test! We need to know."

"No we don't. No doctors then, no doctors now."

"Why not?"

"It'll be humiliating and degrading and I really just want to forget all about it."

I knew Yugi better than I knew myself. I had a trump card against him. It was one I rarely played, it was so unfair against him and I knew if Atem were still around he'd probably penalty game me. It was the closest to cheating I had ever come. But I needed to use it. He needed to see a doctor.

"Please Yugi? For me? It would really make me feel better."

He hesitated. I saw his eyes waver. Bingo. He sighed and rubbed his face. "Fine. One blood test. One visit. For you. Then we never, ever, ever speak of this again. Understood?"

I smiled despite myself. "Thank you."

A few weeks later we were in the doctor's office. It smelt like bleach and we both sat in uncomfortable chairs. The doctor had all his degrees posted on the wall behind his large oak desk that was messier than I would have liked it to be for a doctor. He sat there with glasses falling off his nose, a folder out in front of him.

Yugi shifted, nervous.

"Mister Motou," he said, "I have your test results."

Conscious or not, he reached out and grabbed my hand for support.


	2. Part II

**Well, I am officially a high school senior now. And think, I was just a freshman when I started fanfiction….Thanks for standing by me all this time, guys. I'm looking forward to what these next few years will bring.**

-0-0-0-0-

I don't think I ever cried more in my entire life than I did that night. Not even when Atem died, or when my parents got divorced. Not when my sister started to go blind. Hell, probably not even on the night of the…well, you know. It was too painful, I couldn't even drive home after the appointment. Yugi had to do it. And I was on the floor, bawling like a baby, and Yugi was sitting next to me, running his hands through my hair. He didn't shed a tear. It was unnerving. Shouldn't he be crying too?

_"It's not AIDs yet." The doctor said. "It is still in the HIV stage."_

_ The doctor had pulled me aside into the spare room. The tears were already flooding down my face. I could see Yugi through a small window in the door. He was in the chair, looking at his hands. His eyes were bone dry. _

_ "Is-is there anything you can do?" _

_ He blinked. "There is no cure for HIV, I'm afraid. But there are treatments. Mister Motou is very lucky with his insurance provider. I suppose working with Seto Kaiba does have its advantages. But, they will only delay the progression. It won't stop."_

_ I exhaled slowly. My chest felt tight. I rubbed my face with my hands. "How long until…it progresses?"_

_ "I can't answer that, I'm afraid. Everyone is different. Some people it can take decades for the virus to turn into AIDS. Some people it never does. Or…"_

_ "Or?"_

_ "Or it could start tomorrow."_

_ I whimpered. I actually whimpered. "What do we do?"_

_ "Ideally, we would start treatment right away. I can write a prescription and he can begin it tonight. But I doubt that would do any good."_

_ "Why? Wh-why wouldn't it?"_

_ "Mister Wheeler, there is a reason I pulled you aside and not Mister Motou."_

_ "What?"_

_ "He seems unaffected by the news. Look at him." I did. I cried more. That was not the Yugi I knew; stone cold, detached. "It appears to me that he died long ago." _

_ I rubbed my face; I felt like an idiot for crying. "The prognosis?"_

_ He sighed and avoided my eye contact. "In my professional opinion…ten years. Max."_

"It's okay, Joey. It's okay."

The little brown bag on the coffee table said otherwise.

"Mai will be home soon."

Not for another few days, I thought. Her tournament had lasted longer than expected. She would be in the States for at least another few days. He wanted me to collect myself, to stop crying. It was probably making him uncomfortable. I wanted to stop crying, but I couldn't. Yugi wouldn't leave me, though. He wasn't that kind of person. I tried to stop crying, and got to the point where it was I was shivering. Yugi continued to play with my hair, occasionally running his hands down my back.

"It's okay," he said. "It'll be okay."

Video chatting with Anzu and Tristan was hard; we all lived in different time zones, so it was hard for us to get together to talk for a while. Anzu was in New York, Tristan was on a ship somewhere in the Atlantic (The Marines does that to you, apparently) and Mai was in California. But somehow we did it.

"So you guys," I said, "Yugi's birthday is coming up. I thought it would be a cool gift if we could all get together again for a few days." We hadn't met up since we all went our separate ways.

"It would be nice to get back to Domino and see you guys." Anzu agreed. "I think I could take a break; we don't have another big show for a few weeks."

"And I have enough vacation days saved up." Tristan quipped in. "Next time we port, I can see about catching a flight."

I smiled. "Thanks guys." Deep breath. "Now, I have to tell you something. And don't tell Yugi I told you, either because I promised I wouldn't." Because I'm a terrible friend.

"If you promised Yugi you wouldn't tell, why are you telling?" Anzu asked

I blinked. "It's important. Things have changed."

They all knew I was serious. They looked as grave as I felt. "See, about three years ago, I started getting calls from Hirutani…"

We were all bawling by the end of it. All four of us. We must have been a sight, I tell you. Four grown adults sobbing like infants. Anzu had balls of tissues around her. Tristan's eyes were red and blotchy; he tried to hide it, to suck it up like the big bad Marine he was, but he had a soft spot for Yugi he couldn't cover up. Mai, at one point, had to leave the room to collect herself.

"So—" Anzu sobbed, "what now? What do we do?"

"He has the treatment." I said, defeated. "The doc couldn't say much else. Says this type of thing doesn't follow any pattern. It just happens."

"We've been away too long." Tristan said. "Now we have to be there for his birthday."

"Please," I begged, "when you get out here, don't tell him I told you. I promised I wouldn't. Don't treat him any different either, especially you Anzu—we have to be strong."

Anzu nodded.

Going to get the gang was easier than you would expect it to be. Yugi was out of school for the summer, but had begun to intern at KaibaCorp. more rigorously. Attendance was mandatory. Birthdays were no exception. So while Yugi was doing his thing, I picked everyone up at the airport. It was so nice seeing Anzu and Tristan after so long. Then we raced home and began set up. Tristan and I on decorations. Anzu and Mai on food. We worked hard; we wanted this to be the best birthday ever. After all, we weren't sure how many we would have left. Heh.

Yugi came home every day at six o seven precisely. So at six o two we all hid, prepared to surprise him. Mai and I managed to squeeze in behind the couch while Anzu and Tristan hide in corners. We were all afraid of making the tiniest of sounds, so much so, we all were holding our breath. Then, we heard the door knob turn and we all got ready. When the lights were switched on, we all jumped up and yelled.

"Surprise!"

Yugi was taken aback, startled, until he spotted Anzu and Tristan.

"Happy birthday!" Anzu screamed as she ran up to him and pulled him into a hug. His face flushed red and when I winked at him, seemed to turn a dark purple.

"A-Anzu." He said, finally allowing himself to smile. "Tristan."

"It's good to see you again, man." Tristan said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"What are you guys doing here?"

Anzu finally released him from her grip. "It was Joey's idea; we hadn't seen you in so long, and we thought your birthday would be the perfect time to catch up!"

"Don't worry, dude." Tristan said. "We have everything to make this the best birthday you've ever had! Mai, how's dinner coming?"

"Dinner? Oh sh—"

Dinner consisted of s_lightly _burned pizza, but none of us really minded. We were all too happy to just be together again. It was like old times. The topic somehow got onto the subject of Atem.

"I think he'd be proud of us all." Tristan had a way of speaking that made everyone who ever heard him confident that he knew what he was saying.

"I don't think he could ever not be." Anzu quipped in. "I mean, unless we all became one of those creeps we spent our high school careers fighting."

"And there's not a snowball's chance in hell, er, shadow realm, that'll happen!"

Light laughter. Yugi even smiled some.

"So," Mai said, standing up, "are we ready for cake and gifts?"

"You guys didn't have too—" Yugi began to object.

"Hey, not until we get Yugi to try some beer. You can't not have alcohol on your twenty-first birthday."

"I'm fine, really—"

"Here you go!" Mai placed the cake in front of him, candles already flickering. King of Games was written sloppily in purple frosting and on the corner was a supposed to be a frosted Kuriboh but it really looked like something my old cat would toss up. "_Happy birthday to you_," She began to sing and we all joined in. Yugi's face reddened and his brow furrowed and he kept trying to say something but we wouldn't let him.

And when we finished, he just stared at the cake, not moving, barely breathing. Anzu tried to coax him into blowing out the candles, making a wish, but he didn't respond.

I grew worried. "Yuge?"

Nothing. But his breathing grew more rapid. His shoulders began to shake.

"Yugi?"

He snapped. He looked at all of us. I can barely describe the way he looked at us. Hateful, I guess. And Yugi was never hateful. It scared all of us, I think. It scared me certainly.

"You know," he yelled, his voice cracking like he needed to cry but was trying everything he physically could to not cry, "just because I'm sick, doesn't mean you have to treat me like a baby!"

We were all stunned. Yugi never yelled at us like that. "Yugi—"

His head shot towards me. I swear his eyes were on fire. "You promised me you wouldn't tell them!"

"I know, but—"

"You promised!"

"Yeah, but Yuge, things—"

"_You promised!" _

I was silent. I had no words to say. He was right; I promised. He looked around at everyone else. "Party's over." He said. "I'm sorry I wasted your time."

He got up and went to his room, slamming the door. We looked at each other. Everyone was pretty flabbergasted.

"Well," Tristan said, "that could have gone better."

I glared at him.

"What? It could have."

"I'll talk to him." I said, sighing. "You guys should go. Hopefully we can finish this before you guys have to leave. Mai?"

"Don't worry; I can bunk with Anzu tonight. You and Yugi need time alone."

"Thank you."

She bent down and blew out the candles, then placed the cake into the fridge.

They hurried and left. It wasn't until I was surrounded by only silence that I realized how angry I was. I stormed into Yugi's room, not even bothering to knock. He was curled under the covers.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He did nothing to acknowledge my presence. That made me even angrier. I walked over to his bed and ripped the covers off. He stared at me expressionless. "We're just trying to give you a good birthday, and you throw a hissy fit? Do you know what kind of planning it took to get them all out here? You lost your shit, man. There's no excuse for that."

"Funny." He said softly. "I would have thought finding out your best friend is a liar would qualify as a damn good excuse."

"How was I not supposed to tell them? You sure as hell weren't, and we can't not let them know!"

"Why not?"

"What the hell am I supposed to tell them if you die?" I almost slipped up and said when.

"Oh so this is about you? I didn't realize you were the one with an STD. I didn't realize it was your choice you does and does not know."

"Goddamn it Yugi!" I screamed. "Stop acting like a victim!"

Yugi scoffed and got out of bed, craning his neck to look at me. "_I'm _acting like a victim? I saved your sorry ass and _this _is how you repay me?"

"I didn't ask you to come! I could've dealt with Hirutani myself!"

"_Ha!_ We both know what a lie that is. It would've been three against one. You couldn't even defend yourself against his thugs and you think you could've handled him? If it weren't for me, you'd be dead!"

I clenched my fist. I noticed the orange bottle on his desk; the safety seal was still on. "Why haven't you been taken your medication?" I wasn't yelling anymore, but still made sure my voice was acidic.

He was silent.

"Do you want to die?"

Then it clicked. "My god." I said. "You want to die, don't you?"

"Joey." He wasn't yelling anymore.

"No, scratch that. You don't want to die. You've _wanted _to die. But you couldn't kill yourself. That would be a disgrace to Atem."

"Joey."

"That's why you followed me that night. You wanted him to kill you, didn't you?"

"_Joey._"

I threw my hands up in the air. "Fine. You want to play that game? I can play that game." I left the room and Yugi hurried after him.

"Joey, wait!"

I ignored him and went to the spare closet. I reached up on the top shelf and pulled a shoe box. I took the lid and held in my hands a silver revolver. I turned to face him. I threw the gun at his feet. "You want to die? Fine. Die. Just don't make me watch."

"Joey, please, you don't understand."

I hadn't realized I'd struck him until it was done and he was holding his lip. He peeled it back for a second and a bud of blood was visible. His eyes watered. I hadn't seen him cry in three years, but he was crying now. But at the moment, I didn't care.

"No." I said, too angry to fully comprehend what I'd done. It's terrifying to me now, to think there was a limit on my anger where I would hit my best friend. "No, no. Don't give me any of that crap. I don't want to hear it. Kill yourself. You and Atem can discuss it later and you both can talk about what a shitty friend I am."

"Joey—"

"No. I don't want to hear anything from you anymore. Fuck you."

And I went to my bedroom, pulled the covers over my head, and surprisingly feel asleep right away.

_I was in an alleyway, but the fog was too thick for me to see through more than a few inches. I was surrounded by two blocks of brick, so I was only able to walk forward or backward. But I walked forward. I didn't want to go backwards. I knew what was there. Was that better than what was forward, what I didn't know?_

_ I know him then. His back at least. His hair blew in the wind, and he stood tall, erect. _

_ "Atem!" I called, running towards him. "Atem!"_

_ I came up to him, but he kept his back to me. "Hey." I said, out of breath. "Atem." _

_ "Joey." He said, his voice low and demonic sounding. It scared me and I stepped back. He turned to face me and his eyes were blood red, scowling. "You are a liar, Joey."_

_ "Liar?"_

_ He stepped forward, forcing me a step backward._

_ "A liar. You promised me you would take care of Aibou. You have failed my expectations beyond anything I could have imagined, but worse, you failed him."_

_ "Atem—" He was scaring me. I knew that look; it was the look he gave to people he really, really hated._

_ "He depended on you, trusted you, and you failed him. You betrayed him." Another step forward. He was shorter than I was by several inches, but I couldn't help but feel that _he _was the one looking down on _me.

_"I couldn't lie to the gang." I stuttered. "They had a right to know!"_

_ "But you promised Aibou you wouldn't tell anyone."_

_ "The circumstances—"_

_ "Are irrelevant. You made a promise and you broke it. That makes you a liar twice. You lied to me and you lied to him. A liar is no better than a cheater."_

_ I gulped._

_ "Do you know what I do to cheaters, Wheeler?"_

_ The use of my last name….it said it all. _

_ I cringed, stiffing my body._

_ "Penalty game!" _

_ I felt something grab my every limb and pull me down harsh. I was in a dark hole, with arms coming out of nowhere, grabbing me, groping me, and I felt like I was falling. And I kept falling. And falling. And I never hit any ground. And I knew I never would._

I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart pounding as I clutched my chest. My breaths were ragged. I looked at the clock. It had only been two hours. It all came back to me, everything I had said to Yugi. I thought I was going to cry. I jumped out of bed and ran across the hall to his room, not knocking.

"Yugi?" I called. "Yugi, I am so sorry." But he wasn't there. I checked the living room. He wasn't there either. My heart began to pound faster. The gun wasn't there either.

Having to call your fiancée at midnight explaining the biggest fuckup of your life is not a pleasant experience. I sort of downplayed the extent of our argument, but I had the whole gang searching for him. I prayed that we would find him alive. God I was so stupid. I had never meant for him….If he killed himself, I would never, ever, forgive myself.

My dream came back to me. If Atem wanted to send me to the Shadow Realm, I would not blame him. While running around the city, I got a phone call. I thought it would be from Yugi and I answered it excitedly. Instead, I heard Kaiba's nasty voice.

"Wheeler," he snapped, "I have something that belongs to you."

When I got to the Kaiba Mansion, it was he who let me in and not the usual butler. I figured he was at home, sleeping. Kaiba was pissed, and at once he had me slammed against a wall, pressing his hand into my neck.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"Uh, I wasn't?"

"Mutt, even you have to have more brain cells than that! Do you know where I found him?"

I couldn't answer due to fact that Kaiba was slowly suffocating me.

"I found him in a puddle, sobbing, with a loaded gun in his hands asking me why you hated me. I'd like to know the answer to that too, Wheeler. What demon possessed you to tell him to kill himself?"

He released his grip on me, and I rubbed my neck. "With all due respect, Kaiba," I spat, "you have no right to talk shit. You don't know the whole story."

He scoffed. "Oh, I don't? Wheeler, I know everything. I know about the rape."

"Yeah, well, him just telling you doesn't count."

"You are dense. I've known!"

That caught me off guard.

Kaiba chuckled. "He didn't tell you that, did he?"

"Yugi wouldn't tell you about that. He made me promise I wouldn't tell anyone."

"He didn't need to tell me. You seem to forget: I grew up in an orphanage. I didn't just live with kids whose parents died. Several had to be taken from their homes because of abusive situations. People like that always have a certain look in their eyes. And when Yugi came into work that next day, I saw that look. I pretended not to notice for a while, but he began to withdraw more so I cornered him. Offered him therapy, to call the police. He of course refused all of it, but I've known."

I had no response.

"I have half a mind to report you to the police for assault."

"I didn't assault him!"

"So he gave himself a black eye and busted lip?"

I have never liked Kaiba; I respect him as a duelist. Believe me, having the opportunity to duel against Kaiba, even if you get your ass handed to you, is a great honor. But as a person, I hated him. As a person I had no respect for him. "Where is he?"

"Safe and away from you."

"I'm not playing this game, Kaiba! Where is he? I'm taking him home."

"He is home. After that stunt you pulled tonight, I'd _die _before I let him go back with you."

"Why'd you call me here then?"

"I figured it would be more fun to give you this news in person. You can go now."

"I'm talking to him."

"Like hell you are."

"Try and stop me, asshole." I pushed past him and ran up the large stairs. The mansion was huge; I didn't even know where I would begin looking. I craned my neck backwards, but did not see Kaiba chasing after me. He was still in the foyer, glaring at me with his icy eyes. I realized then that he wasn't going to stop me. His eyes shifted for a moment and I followed them to a door. I opened the door and sure enough, there was Yugi, in a bed that was too large for him. His eyes met mine and he blinked slowly. Kaiba was right; his lip was swollen and his right eye had purple around it. I felt guilty.

"Yugi?" I closed the door behind me.

"Go away." He turned so that his back was facing me.

I took a step forward. "Yugi…I am _so _sorry….I-I can't express you to how sorry I am….I sh-shouldn't have said any of that." I swallowed. "I hit you….I'm s_o sorry._"

He didn't respond, just pulled his knees closer to his chest.

"I'll never be able to make it up to you…" My throat was dry. "I'd like to try, though."

"Go away."

"Come home with me." I ignored him. "Everyone is so worried. Come on, let's go home and we'll work this out together." I said this all as I walked around the bed so that we were facing each other again. He avoided eye contact.

"Yuge?"

"Go away."

"I can't. Not unless you're coming with me."

"Don't you understand?" He whispered, his voice cracking. "I don't want you; go away, leave me alone."

"What do you want then? Tell me Yugi, I promise no matter what it is, I'll get it."

He was sobbing quietly. "I want _Yami_." His body was wracked, tears streaming down his face. He was crying. Crying. I hadn't seen him cry in so long, it was a bit of relief.

Honestly, it was the answer I should've expected, though the term of endearment threw me off guard for a moment. But hearing him say it, made me feel heavy. Like something was trying to pull me down. The dream. My promise to Atem. My pinkie promise to Yugi. The cold plastic of the hospital chair. My nose stung. My eyes watered. I couldn't do this. I wasn't strong enough. "I want him too." I said, realizing how true that was. Atem needed to go the Afterlife, though; that was where he belonged. He lived his life; he needed to die But….Atem was the only one who could ever protect Yugi; he was the only one who would lay down his life for Yugi. Yugi wanted Atem; not me. Somewhere I knew that if he were ever given the choice, he would pick Atem over me every time. He would say that he couldn't pick, but deep down, somewhere in his soul, that longing for Atem would be greater than his longing for me. Atem didn't break his promises. Atem was able to comfort him in ways I could never. Atem was his greatest company; he was never alone when he was with Atem. How could I ever compete with that?

The message was clear. I walked and left the room. Kaiba was waiting outside for me, his arms crossed.

"My on-call doctor came by earlier." He said. "He put him on a 24 hour suicide watch. If you noticed, there were no pillow cases, or large furniture. The windows were bolted shut."

"I get it. I fucked up."

"No, you didn't just fuck up. What you did was worse than that. Those scars are never going to heal."

I snorted and leaned against the door. "What does it matter? He's going to die anyways. He won't take his medication. If there's an accident of some sort, he won't do anything to save himself."

"I'll worry about that."

My pride was one thing I always held close to me. I didn't have a lot of things, but I did have my pride. Yugi, though…was worth it. "Take care of him."

Kaiba nodded stiffly.

"I'm sorry." Mai said, holding my hands. "I know this is hard for you, but staying in this ratty old place alone isn't going to help any, sweetie."

"Kaiba won't let me anywhere near him. It's so aggravating! Of all the people in the world, he would pick _Kaiba _over me?"

"Maybe it's for the best? Kaiba has the resources to better take care of him."

"Mai, he doesn't want to be taken care of. He wants to die."

She leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Then let him die, hon. I've seen him and I think the doctor's right; he died a long time ago. Some things aren't meant to be lived through."

"I don't know what to do." I moaned. "He's my best friend. I can't let him kill himself."

"Joey, Yugi is the most selfless person I know. He's always putting others before himself, swallowing his feelings so he can focus on someone else's. He killed his best friend because it was the right thing to do! We both know he didn't want to do it, but he did it still, because it needed to be done; because it was what Atem wanted. Because he knew it would make Atem happy, even if it made him feel desolate. He suffered so his friend could prosper. Isn't time someone puts him first for once in his life?"

I was speechless. She was right. She was so right.

She squeezed my hands. "Don't you think it's time you moved out of this place? We're going to be married soon. We should start moving in together."

The ring on my finger. Another promise I had made. To love and cherish her forever and ever. Could I keep that promise? I loved Mai with all of my heart, all of it. But I loved Yugi with all of my heart too. And I couldn't keep any of the promises I made him. But…this wedding. It was what I really wanted. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman. This woman, whom I would gladly lay down my life for.

"You think Yugi will still be the best man?"

She bit her lip and squeezed my hand. "I think so. You know Yugi. He can't hold a grudge. The wedding's still a few months away. Just give him time to cool down. He'll forgive you; he always does."

"Don't remind me."

The wedding went off without a hitch. I stood at the alter with Yugi by my side. That was awkward; Yugi and I hadn't spoken much since his birthday, Kaiba made sure of that. We didn't talk about that night, about his non-confession confession that he was suicidal. There were a lot of things we didn't talk about. Things we needed to talk about, but we pushed under the rug. But he was there for my wedding and I couldn't ask for anything more. She walked down the aisle and we said our vows. It was pretty traditional, and nothing unusual happened. The reception was a small little party in the Kaiba mansion. I'm still not completely sure how that happened, but I think Yugi had something to do with it. Mai and I had our first dance, we cut the cake, and everyone had a good time.

It wasn't till a few hours in I noticed Yugi had seemingly vanished. At first I thought perhaps he had gone to bed, but then realized there was no way he would be able to sleep with all the noise in the house. Later I went in search of a bathroom, and heard retching. I waited outside the door, but whoever was in there sounded like they couldn't breathe. I knocked on the door. There was only one person who could be in there.

"Yugi? Are you okay?"

The noises from behind the door stopped. I grew worried and pressed my ear against the wood, searching for any signs of life.

"Yugi?"

The door opened, suddenly, and I had to quickly lean back to avoid face planting with Yugi's shoes. I caught sight of him. He looked awful. He had dark circles under his eyes, which were watery, and his nose and ears were a bright red.

"Hey." I said, trying to sound as calm as I could, like I hadn't been sort-of-spying-but-not-really-spying. "Are-are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm good." His voice was hoarse.

"You sure? You sound kind of sick."

"It's nothing. I don't think the food quite agrees with me, that's all. I'm fine, don't worry." He gave me one of his fake smiles that was never, ever very convincing to begin with.

"You sure? Is there anything I can get you?"

"Joey, this is your day. Don't let me ruin it for you." He tried to squeeze past me.

"You're not ruining it. Really. I'm so glad you still were my best man, after what happened, you have no idea how much it means to me."

"I would never let a dumb argument get between our friendship."

"I don't think I would consider it a little argument—"

"Joey, don't worry. I'm fine. Go, it's your wedding. Have fun. Dance with your wife. Don't let me ruin it for you." He managed to slip past me, disappearing into the crowd.

I suppose Kaiba was managing to make him take his medicine one way or the other. But he looked sicker than he did before we knew about it. Wasn't the medicine supposed to make him better? Why did it make him look like walking dead?

I wasn't sure. I did know I wasn't ever going to get those answers though. And I had to just accept that.

The last few years there was this reoccurring nightmare I kept having. In this nightmare, Yugi and I were both back in that warehouse and Hirutani was there and things went as they did in real life, only this time, when Hirutani was done, he didn't leave. Instead, he leaned down with his mouth pressed against Yugi's ear, and even though he whispered it, I could hear it crystal clear.

"Always have to be the hero, don't you?" And then he stood up and pulled a gun out of nowhere and he shot Yugi point blank in the head, killing him. Each time I would always wake up with a start, my heart pounding, sometimes screaming. Most times I had to remind myself that it was always a dream, that Yugi was still alive, Hirutani hadn't killed him. Was it better though? Sometimes I couldn't help but think everything would have better if Hirutani had killed Yugi.

But then when I always tried to go back to sleep, I couldn't help but replay that one line of dialogue over and over again in my head.

Always have to be the hero, don't you?

To this day, I'm still not sure if Hirutani actually said that, or if it was just something my twisted mind made up.

Grandpa died. It wasn't a surprise, not really. The man was eighty years old with poor eye sight, a bad back, and dementia. We had been preparing for a long time. But still, you can never fully prepare for something like that. Sure, he died peacefully in his sleep, painlessly. But when you're the guy who finds him dead, it's scary. Really scary.

The funeral was….uneventful. Really. It was no different than a regular funeral. It was a sunny day, actually. Bright blue sky, birds chirping everywhere. Yugi was… okay considering the circumstances. He didn't look any better than he did at the wedding, but he didn't look any worse. Maybe a little more tired, but his last living relative had just died, so I understood. He greeted everyone with a sad smile, thanked them for coming, for their condolences. The funeral party consisted mainly of neighbors I had never met and frequent flyers, children who spent the majority of their allowance on booster packs. It still never ceased to amaze me just how much impact one person can have on so many lives. I should have known better, especially considering the people I hung out with at the time. But that was different. Atem had been different, and even though Grandpa was the closest thing to a father I ever had, he was still just a sickly, widowed shop owner who used his grandson's reputation to get by at the end of each month.

He didn't know how sick Yugi was… Yugi didn't want to tell him, didn't want him to worry. After his visits, Grandpa used to come to me and ask what was wrong with Yugi, why did he look so tired, so skinny? I simply told him it was stress; depression. See, I didn't lie, technically. I just didn't tell the whole truth…

After the service, after people began to leave I walked up to Yugi who was alone for the first time that afternoon.

"Hey." I said.

"Hey." He responded back. Silence fell then and we both looked at our feet awkwardly.

"Yugi, I—"

I was cut off as he circled his arms around me, burying his face into the crook of my neck. His body was lost to tremors, shaking violently.

At first I didn't know what to do. It was an unexpected gesture. But soon, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer. "It's okay." I whispered, rubbing circles into his back. "It's okay, it'll be all right."

He pulled back, sniveling. His eyes were watery, but no tears fell. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small silver key and held it out. "Here," He said.

I took it cautiously. "What is—"

"He wanted you to have it. It says so in his will. I know this should be more formal, there's still the paper work to fill out and the attorney to meet, but you should have it. I want you have to it."

"Yugi, what are you talking about?"

"The Game Shop. It's yours now."

I was speechless; dumbfounded. "Yuge, I can't take this. He was your grandfather, the shop belongs to you."

"Joey, I consider you my brother. And Grandpa considered you his grandson. You're family. He wanted you to have it. So take it."

"Yugi, I can't—"

He wrapped my fingers around the small key, holding my hand so gently and delicately. "Take it."

I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. The fact that Grandpa wanted me to have the shop, his life's work…I can't describe how that felt. It was amazing. So amazing. And, Yugi wanted me to have it too. I couldn't let him down; disappoint him again.

"Thank you." I eventually mumbled, feeling tears stinging at my eyes.

He smiled shyly at me.

I know it may not seem like it, but this story does have a point. I'm getting to it. Soon enough, I'll be out of your hair. My promises to Yugi, our relationship those last few months, were more fragile than glass. Glass could be repaired if it was broken. But the pieces to my relationship with Yugi shattered smaller making it impossible to put back together perfectly.

The night it really broke…It was just a few months after Grandpa's funeral. I was with him in the Kaiba Mansion. Kaiba didn't seem to really care if I hung out with Yugi at his place. Or maybe he did but he just remained silent for Yugi's sake. It doesn't really matter anymore. It hasn't mattered.

He was….so thin and gray. We were playing a game of cards and he was kicking my ass as usual. It was fun, until he went into a violent coughing fit. He could barely breathe and was curled up into a ball, his hands over his mouth. I was by his side, trying to calm him down and after a few minutes, the coughing subsided. He shakily removed his hands from his mouth and my stomach churned when I saw the cherry of blood in his palms.

He was wheezing and shivering, even though the room was at a modest temperature. That, I think was the final straw.

"Stay here." I told him. "I'll get you some water."

For once he didn't object to my help. I went into the kitchen and grabbed onto the counter, feeling the urge to smash my head against the cabinets. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't see him in pain anymore. I couldn't live my life knowing he was suffering, knowing I had disappointed Atem and betrayed Yugi.

Mai's words echoed in my head from that night months ago.

_He killed his best friend because it was the right thing to do!_

_ He suffered so his friend could prosper. _

_ Isn't it time someone puts him first for once in his life?_

It was. I was going to do it. For once in my life, I was going to be selfless, like Yugi. I fished a glass out of the cabinet and filled it with water. But I also fished out a bottle of sleeping pills and crushed them in my palms. I stared at the white powder for what felt like eternity. Then I stirred it into the water. I went back into the living room and gave my poison to him.

"Thank you." He muttered, his voice hoarse.

I said nothing. I watched as he downed the whole thing. It was only a matter of moments now. I sat down. "Want to finish playing?" I wanted him to be happy and smiling when he left. I tried not to cry. He trusted me and I was killing him. But he was going to die anyways, right? If I waited around he would just die painfully and sick. At least this way he could die with his dignity.

"Sure." He said. He shuffled the cards and dealt them.

It would be easy to blame Hirutani for everything that happened. But, I can't. Not fully. I was the one who drug Yugi into that mess with me. He gave me chance after chance to call the police instead, but I didn't listen and he got hurt because of my stubbornness. Hirutani may have been the one to hurt him, to make him sick, but it was my fault.

I tried not to look him in the eye. I didn't want to see the light in his eyes fade away.

After about ten minutes, he began to moan and sway.

"Are you okay?"

"Just tired." He yawned.

"Why don't we get you to bed then?" I stood up and helped him to his feet. He walked to his room where he began to lean on me. I got him to his bed, but by then he was more than halfway gone. I could smell it.

"Yugi," I said, swallowing my tears, "remember when we were on Pegasus' boat and Weevil threw your Exodia cards over the edge? I jumped off to get them and you were there right after me. It was dark and the waves were rough; I got pulled under by the current. But because you were there you saved me."

He smiled softly at me the light in his eyes fading away. "Of course. I could never forget that. Then later you saved me from drowning that night in Battle City when Marik….."

"No, you saved me." I said, holding onto his hand. "You helped me break free from Marik's mind control."

"You…coulda done that on….your own….didn' need me…."

My tears were threatening to fall. I had to use all of my will power to hold them back. I didn't want the last thing he saw to be my crying. "Yes I did, Yugi."

He made no reply. I could see his eyes becoming dimmer.

"I just want you to know Yugi," I stammered, hoping to say it fast enough for him to hear it, "one day, I'm going save you like you've saved me so many times. I promise."

He didn't know that day was then. But that was okay. He didn't need to.

"But Joey…you already have…."

"And then he closed his eyes and never opened them again. I left then, crying. I don't regret it though. I do regret that it was Mokuba who found him several hours later. Poor kid had enough go wrong in his life he didn't need that too. But, what's done is done. His funeral was probably more uneventful than Grandpa's. Because he was so sick, nobody ever suspected he died of anything else. But, I fulfilled my promise to Atem. I protected Yugi for once in my life."

I look up at the small slit in the wall at the man behind it. All I can see are his eyes, but they are wide and terrified. Poor kid, I think. He probably wasn't expecting any confessions this wild.

"Sir—" He stammers, tripping over syllables. He obviously hasn't been doing this long. He doesn't look older than thirty, at the oldest. I rub at my knees in the meantime. The arthritis was bad, especially when I sat down for a long time like I had been. Getting old stinks, let me tell you. "Sir, you must go to the authorities. You have to turn yourself in!"

"Why?"

"Why? Murder is a sin!"

"But I didn't murder him. Besides, it won't make a difference now. That was sixty years ago and I'm an old man. I can feel my time coming. You know I haven't told this story to anyone. Not the friends Yugi and I shared, not Kaiba. Hell, not even my own wife knows the truth. But I know I'm going to die soon. I wanted someone to know the truth."

"It's never too late for redemption sir." The young priest pleaded. "God forgives you, but you must prove your sorrow for this sin."

I couldn't help but snort. "I don't need God's forgiveness. All I need is Yugi's. And I know when I die and I get to see him again, I'll have it."

He went quiet for a moment. "Why are you telling me this then? Out of everybody in the world you could confess too, why me? A poor stranger?"

I smiled as I continued to rub at my knees and wrists. "I saw you the other day after Mass getting into your car. A priest with a duel disk is a sight I don't think I'd ever seen before."

"I-….wait. Your friend was Yugi Motou?"

"Yeah." I smiled. Even after all these years, Yugi was still making people's lives better; making them smile, inspiring them. This priest was a fan of Yugi's even though he had been dead for half a century now.

"I always thought he committed suicide."

He did, I said to myself only. I may have killed his body but he died a long time before that. "Yugi would never kill himself. He wasn't that kind of person." I stood. "Thank you for listening. It feels good to talk about this. Like a weight has been taken off my chest."

"Thank you for that…intriguing story." He replied.

I left the church and it was nighttime. The sky was dark and filled with stars. I took the time to crane my neck back up and look at them. I knew Yugi forgave for me what I did. Part of me was sure that he was even happy with what I did. He didn't have to suffer anymore.

It may have taken longer than I thought it would, and may have consisted of some actions I never thought I would have to take, but in the end, I did protect Yugi just like I promised Atem I would.

And I knew with every ounce of my being that the both of them were up there, smiling at me, waiting for my time to go and we could all be together once again.

**FIN **

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